James Warner’s mother was on a two-month trip to Indonesia when he was diagnosed with cancer – and once the diagnosis was confirmed, he was faced with an impossible decision.

Most of us have, at one point or another, imagined the nightmare of a doctor telling us: “you have cancer.” It’s words no one ever wants to hear. But what often hits even harder than expected is what comes next – having to tell the people we love.

Because even if the diagnosis itself is devastating, seeing the fear and heartbreak in our family and friends’ eyes is what makes it feel real. At the same time, their support – and simply having them there – is a crucial part of getting through treatment, both psychologically and physically.

He kept his diagnosis secret
For James Warner, however, one of his biggest supporters – and the person he most wanted by his side, his mother – was out of the country when he received his diagnosis. She was on a two-month yoga retreat in Indonesia, something she had been looking forward to for months, and James didn’t want to take that away from her. Instead, he and his sisters made the decision to keep it from her until she returned.

“We knew telling her over the phone wasn’t something she would handle well, especially being that far away,” Warner tells PEOPLE. “It didn’t feel right for her to either cancel something she’d been looking forward to for months or try to enjoy it knowing what we were dealing with.”

Knowing his mother was already supporting her own brother through cancer as well also made the whole situation even more difficult.

Since they also wanted to avoid her finding out from someone else, it wasn’t something they could speak openly about. Instead, they waited for her return, determined to let her enjoy her time away to the fullest.

The moment he told her went viral
When she finally came back, Warner decided to record the moment he told her – a video he later shared on TikTok.

“I never filmed it with the intention of posting it – let alone having millions of people see it,” he says, explaining it was originally meant as something personal to look back on.

He describes the moment he told her, saying “there was an immediate sense of relief,” and that “it felt like a huge weight had been lifted.”

“It’s hard to fully describe how it felt,” he tells People. “News like that would shake any mother to her core, and I knew it would devastate her.”

“I think her reaction was a mix of shock and disbelief.”

Once his “secret” was finally out, the reality of the situation fully set in.

“Once it settled in… it was real.”

The video has since struck a chord online, offering a deeply personal look at a moment many families hope they never have to face.

@jamesswarner For context my ma was on a yoga retreat in Indonesia for 2 months and my sisters and I decided to wait until she got back before telling her so she wasn’t panicking on the other side of the world, this is the day she landed in Vancouver to visit us on the way back home to Toronto #creatorsearchinsights #cancer #fyp #mother ♬ original sound – jimbo