Cara Delevingne is opening up about the difficult side of growing up in the spotlight and how fame affected her personally.

In a recent interview with ELLE, the model, actress and musician reflected on the intense attention that came with her rapid rise to fame. Delevingne said she spent a long period feeling numb and struggled to fully appreciate the experiences happening around her.

“I numbed myself for a pretty long time,” she said, explaining that being constantly recognized and watched became difficult to handle.

Delevingne has previously spoken publicly about her struggles with substance abuse and her journey toward sobriety. Now, as she prepares to release her debut solo album, Not Normal, she says she feels more excited and open about life.

The 34-year-old star is entering a new chapter, focusing on music while looking back on the difficult years that came with becoming famous at a young age.

Her latest comments offer a more personal look at what life behind the spotlight was really like for her.