Lily Allen has never been one to shy away from uncomfortable truths, and on the latest episode of her podcast Miss Me?, she opened up about a deeply personal one: she can’t remember how many abortions she’s had.

The 40-year-old singer was speaking candidly with her longtime friend and co-host, Miquita Oliver, when the topic came up. “Abortions, I’ve had a few,” Allen said. “But then again, I can’t remember exactly how many… I want to say four or five.” Oliver, in response, shared that she’d had “about five” herself.

The reaction online was instant, and divided. Some praised Allen for her openness in a world that still demands women justify their reproductive choices. Others called the comments “irresponsible,” accusing her of treating abortion like casual birth control.

Allen anticipated some of the backlash in real time. Reflecting on one abortion in particular, she recalled how a man once paid for the procedure and how, at the time, she mistook it for a romantic gesture. “I don’t think it’s generous or romantic,” she said now. “He didn’t even follow up with me afterwards.”

Her frustration wasn’t just with men, though, it was with the broader cultural tendency to demand acceptable reasons for abortion.

“It actually irritates me,” she said. “I’ve seen memes from pro-abortion accounts that say, ‘My aunt had a kid with a disability’ or ‘She would have died if she went full term.’ Like, shut up! Just: ‘I don’t want a f***ing baby right now.’ That’s reason enough.”

While her tone (breezy, blunt, even a little giggly) rubbed some listeners the wrong way, others saw it as part of the point. Researcher Alison Wilson, writing in Metro, put it plainly: “Imagine how much more palatable this would be if Allen had talked about how terrible she feels… how full of remorse she is? This is all to do with conditional acceptance.”

In other words: society wants women to be sorry. To be ashamed. And when they aren’t, we panic.

Wilson argues that Allen’s candour, however uncomfortable, is essential. “That’s what it means to be pro-choice: pro the choice of the pregnant person, not the choice that makes you most comfortable.”

So no, Allen isn’t “promoting” abortion. She’s not campaigning for anyone to follow her lead. She’s simply telling the truth about her own life, on her own terms. And for many, that’s exactly what reproductive freedom looks like.