A student who went viral after tearing out her own eyeballs while high on crystal meth has revealed she has “no regrets” after recently being fired from her job.
Kaylee Muthart, from Anderson, South Carolina, was just 20 years old when she had a serious psychotic episode in 2018 while under the influence of methamphetamine.
Having started smoking marijuana in high school, Kaylee graduated to first smoking, then injecting meth. When her mom ultimately convinced her to go to rehab to get clean, Muthart sought a final high before quitting.
Terrifyingly, the drug made her believe that “everyone would die if I didn’t tear out my eyes immediately”.
“I remember thinking that someone had to sacrifice something important to right the world, and that person was me,” she told South West News Service via The Daily Mail. “I got on my hands and knees, pounding the ground and praying, ‘Why me? Why do I have to do this?’“
She went on to explain: “I pushed my thumb, pointer, and middle finger into each eye. I gripped each eyeball, twisted, and pulled until each eye popped out of the socket — it felt like a massive struggle, the hardest thing I ever had to do.” She said that the church pastor found her screaming, “I want to see the light.”
In February 2018, Kaylee Muthart ripped out her own eyes, and squished them with her hands during a meth induced psychotic episode. Muthart had been awake for almost 48 hours, snorting and injecting a concoction of tainted methamphetamine. pic.twitter.com/jJM8lPOqX2
— Morbid Knowledge (@Morbidful) February 11, 2024
“He later said, when he found me, that I was holding my eyeballs in my hands. I had squished them, although they were somehow still attached to my head,” Muthart explains.
The horrific undertaking left Kaylee permanently blind, though she managed to kick her drug habit and has since turned her life around. Part of her self-rebuild included getting a job washing dishes at a local restaurant so she can earn money whilst she completes her education.
In a sad update, it was revealed she’s since been fired from that position, though Kaylee herself claimed she had “no regrets” due to the manner of her dismissal.
Speaking to the Mirror, the student said that she’d lost her job because she was sneaking food out of the restaurant kitchen to feed a hungry cat and her eight kittens.
Kaylee Muthart was 20 when she ripped out her eyes, squishing them with her hands, after snorting and injecting tainted methamphetamine.
“The drugs take your fears and beliefs and amplify them… I thought I had to take my eyes out to survive and save the world.”#DontDoDrugs pic.twitter.com/FbYpx9a0ru
— The Girl Who Said Know (@GirlWhoSaidKnow) February 13, 2024
The owner of the establishment asked her to stop taking the food, leading to her eventual firing when she refused to do so.
“I am feeling positive after the loss of my last job,” Kaylee told the Mirror.
“Being fired never feels good, but I could walk away, knowing that I did what I believed in my heart was right.
“I could not in good conscience leave every night, knowing that there was a kitty right there waiting to be fed so I gave it my meal that I would get for my shift – and ordered it especially for the kitty.”
Describing that it was “hard on her” to then be stripped of the ability to provide for herself as a result, she said: “I would not have been able to walk away from that knowing that I didn’t do what I was convinced in my heart to do.
“So as a result, I am positive every day of my life because I am peaceful, knowing that I live without regretting my choice.”
Outside of losing her job, Kaylee has revealed that she now wears prosthetic eyeballs, saying she wanted to “appear more normal to the outside world.”
“Of course there are times when I get really upset about my situation, particularly on nights when I can’t fall asleep,” said Muthart. “But truthfully, I’m happier now than I was before all this happened. I’d rather be blind than dependent on drugs.”
