Bedroom Banter Gone Wild

Hubby: Yes, I love that trick you do with your mouth.

Wife: What trick?

Hubby: The one where you shut the fuck up and go to sleep.

Wife’s eyes widened, and she leaned in, crossing her arms. “Excuse me, what did you just say?”

Hubby, grinning like a mischievous schoolboy, looked up from his phone. “Oh, you know, the magic trick you do every night.”

Her eyebrows arched skeptically. “Magic trick? I’m all ears, go on.”

“Yeah,” he said with an exaggerated motion, as if explaining the secret of the universe. “You start by talking about everything under the sun—your day, your plans, the laundry, what to have for dinner tomorrow. You build up this grand performance.”

He paused for dramatic effect. “And then, poof, just like that… you fall asleep mid-sentence!”

Wife stared, not sure whether to laugh or smother him with the nearest pillow. “So, you’re telling me my ‘trick’ is falling asleep?”

“Yep,” Hubby nodded, still grinning. “It’s amazing. I never know when it’s coming. One minute, you’re asking about my day, the next, it’s silence. Like magic. And I’m like, ‘Where did she go?’ It’s like I’m in the presence of an elusive sleep wizard.”

Wife put a hand on her hip, rolling her eyes. “Well, if I’m a wizard, then you’re the one who cast the spell. Every time you snore, I’m instantly transported to dreamland.”

He snickered. “Touché. But, let’s be real, I know who’s got the real magic around here.”

Wife raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And what’s that?”

“The way you can disappear when I need help with the dishes, laundry, or anything.”

She smirked. “That, my dear, is called ‘selective hearing.’ Now, poof, I’m going to sleep.”

Hubby laughed and nudged her. “Okay, okay, I’ll give you the title of the sleep sorceress. But only if you promise not to perform your ‘trick’ when I’m asking you to take out the trash.”

She pretended to think, then shrugged. “Sorry, no promises. It’s part of the spell!”

He sighed dramatically. “Wife, the only thing I can count on more than your trick with your mouth is your ability to dodge chores. Now go on, do your magic. Goodnight, sorceress.”

Wife turned over with a playful grin. “Goodnight, Magician of the Snore.”

And just like that, the silence settled in, and Hubby heard the soft sound of her breathing—proof that the trick had worked once again.

Related Posts

A Surprise of Care: How My Family Turned a Scary Moment Into Healing

I tripped at work (I’m a waitress) and tore a ligament in my knee. At the hospital, they put my leg in a cast and sent me…

Stitched Back Together: A Woman’s Journey of Strength and Renewal

My mother-in-law gave me an old antique sewing machine for my birthday. My husband laughed, but I liked it. And 5 years later, he left me. For…

Golden-voiced lead-singer of the Mavericks dies at 60 after cancer battle

Raul Malo’s voice could stop a room cold. Now, that voice is gone. The Mavericks’ legendary frontman, “El Maestro” himself, has lost his brutal battle with cancer…

Air Force Academy cadet, 19, discovered unresponsive in dormitory

Nineteen-year-old Avery Koonce was supposed to fly. Instead, she never woke up. A healthy, driven Air Force Academy cadet, gone in days from a cough no one…

David Muir: The Trusted Voice of American Journalism

David Muir built his career telling other people’s stories. But behind the polished desk, something far more personal has been unfolding. His rise from a curious kid…

20 minutes ago Chelsea Clinton, confirmed as…See more

✨ Chelsea Clinton Steps Into the Spotlight Again Just 20 minutes ago, Chelsea Clinton confirmed fresh news that is drawing wide attention across the globe. The daughter…