John Elway Lays Down The Law: ‘Kneel On My Field And You’re Fired On The Spot’

John Elway, former Super Bowl-winning quarterback and Head of Football Operations for the Denver Broncos, has laid down some ground rules for the upcoming season of the NFL.

According to our sources inside the locker room who may or may not have direct knowledge of what’s going on, Elway is already polishing up his index finger to point at the traitors he’ll fire.

Our sports correspondent in the field, James Osborne, says the players are taking the warnings very seriously:

“Elway has made it clear that he won’t stand for any disrespecting of our flag.

One of the assistants to an assistant coach said he heard Elway screaming in his office that ‘anyone kneeling on his field during the National Anthem will be fired.

If they’re from another team, they’ll be escorted out and not allowed to play.’ We’re not really sure how to enforce that one, but it looks like we’ll have to try or be fired ourselves by old pigeon feet.”

Elway isn’t messing around. Back in 2017, he fired three players on the spot for kneeling, setting off a chain reaction of fact-checking stories and attacks on satire by Snopes.

In the end, the players were reinstated because they weren’t real, and Elway was able to keep his public image of being an intolerant jackass completely intact.

God bless you, John Elway, and God Bless America

Related Posts

Huge update on British student, 23, jailed for life in Dubai after ‘very stupid mistake’

The British student jailed for 25 years in Dubai after making a “very stupid mistake” has been released, marking a major update in a case that has…

CNN reporter delivers sharp response after Trump brands her “stupid” and “nasty”

Donald Trump has a well-documented pattern of going after the press, and lately his criticism has been aimed most often at female reporters. Now, one of the…

Top 10 safest places if World War 3 broke out

It’s not a question anyone wants to think about — but these days, with headlines full of rising tensions, it’s hard not to wonder where you’d be…

Melania Trump mocked online after she is seen ‘struggling to read Christmas book’ at Children’s Hospital

Melania Trump continued the tradition of First Ladies meeting patients at the Children’s National Hospital in Washington, DC. She read the children a Christmas story, but while…

Creepy! This looks like a normal family photo until you see what’s hiding underneath mom

Taking a family photo should be a nice experience: everyone is happy and smiling for the camera. What matters is that everyone is together, in the same…

Story of the human Barbie Jessica Alves

It’s not common, but once in while you hear about people undergoing plastic surgeries. One might want to change their nose, breasts, lips or maybe just give…