John Elway Lays Down The Law: ‘Kneel On My Field And You’re Fired On The Spot’

John Elway, former Super Bowl-winning quarterback and Head of Football Operations for the Denver Broncos, has laid down some ground rules for the upcoming season of the NFL.

According to our sources inside the locker room who may or may not have direct knowledge of what’s going on, Elway is already polishing up his index finger to point at the traitors he’ll fire.

Our sports correspondent in the field, James Osborne, says the players are taking the warnings very seriously:

“Elway has made it clear that he won’t stand for any disrespecting of our flag.

One of the assistants to an assistant coach said he heard Elway screaming in his office that ‘anyone kneeling on his field during the National Anthem will be fired.

If they’re from another team, they’ll be escorted out and not allowed to play.’ We’re not really sure how to enforce that one, but it looks like we’ll have to try or be fired ourselves by old pigeon feet.”

Elway isn’t messing around. Back in 2017, he fired three players on the spot for kneeling, setting off a chain reaction of fact-checking stories and attacks on satire by Snopes.

In the end, the players were reinstated because they weren’t real, and Elway was able to keep his public image of being an intolerant jackass completely intact.

God bless you, John Elway, and God Bless America

Related Posts

JD Vance Blames Biden for Gas Prices, Credits Trump for Lower Costs

What Vance is arguing Vance’s argument follows a common Republican narrative: Joe Biden left the economy in bad shape (high inflation, high energy costs). Policies under Donald…

Trump Claims U.S. Victory Over Iran, Urges Patrols in the Strait of Hormuz

Tensions in the Middle East are escalating after Donald Trump declared that the United States has effectively achieved victory over Iran following recent military actions. In a…

Sally Field responds to critics who called her “ugly”

It’s hard to be a woman in Hollywood, but Sally Field has chosen to defy most of the ‘rules’ put in place. We love her work in…

Father who murdered 10-year-old daughter is attacked in prison

The dark and chilling murder of 10-year-old Sara Sharif sent shockwaves globally, sparking widespread outrage against her father Ufran Sharif, who confessed to brutally killing his young…

Frank Caprio posted last photo in hospital bed hours before his death

Judge Frank Caprio will be remembered predominantly for the kindness and compassion he showed during his rulings, captured on the television show Caught in Providence. Caprio, who…

Donald Trump Issues Stark Warning to Iran

A new exchange of warnings has intensified attention on the Middle East after former U.S. President Donald Trump cautioned Iran about the consequences of interfering with oil…