John Elway Lays Down The Law: ‘Kneel On My Field And You’re Fired On The Spot’

John Elway, former Super Bowl-winning quarterback and Head of Football Operations for the Denver Broncos, has laid down some ground rules for the upcoming season of the NFL.

According to our sources inside the locker room who may or may not have direct knowledge of what’s going on, Elway is already polishing up his index finger to point at the traitors he’ll fire.

Our sports correspondent in the field, James Osborne, says the players are taking the warnings very seriously:

“Elway has made it clear that he won’t stand for any disrespecting of our flag.

One of the assistants to an assistant coach said he heard Elway screaming in his office that ‘anyone kneeling on his field during the National Anthem will be fired.

If they’re from another team, they’ll be escorted out and not allowed to play.’ We’re not really sure how to enforce that one, but it looks like we’ll have to try or be fired ourselves by old pigeon feet.”

Elway isn’t messing around. Back in 2017, he fired three players on the spot for kneeling, setting off a chain reaction of fact-checking stories and attacks on satire by Snopes.

In the end, the players were reinstated because they weren’t real, and Elway was able to keep his public image of being an intolerant jackass completely intact.

God bless you, John Elway, and God Bless America

Related Posts

Today Show Adjusts Schedule as Melvin Chooses to Support Friend Over Olympics Assignment

Choosing Presence Over Prestige: When Professional Success Meets Human Loyalty The 2026 Winter Olympics in Milan were expected to be a major moment for the Today team….

Bad Bunny left message “for America” on football during Super Bowl halftime show – here’s what it said

There was no small amount of anticipation before Bad Bunny stepped out to deliver the Super Bowl halftime show last night. The fact that the 31-year-old was…

Why Donald Trump isn’t at the Super Bowl after leaving early last year

Tens of thousands of people are currently crammed into the Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara for Super Bowl LX, but one man who is notably absent is…

Charlie Puth hit with accusation while singing US national anthem at Super Bowl

Charlie Puth was the artist charged with singing the US national anthem prior to the start of this year’s Super Bowl, and he delivered an impassioned performance….

Trump destroys Bad Bunny’s halftime Super Bowl performance with 5 ruthless words

The Seattle Seahawks leaned on a ferocious, relentless defense to overpower the New England Patriots in Super Bowl LX on Sunday night. They didn’t just win —…

I Got an $840K Job Offer and My Husband Said I Wasn’t ‘Allowed’ to Take It – When I Found Out Why, I Filed for Divorce

I honestly thought the wildest thing that would happen to me this year was getting an $840,000 job offer after years of being a stay-at-home mom. I…