John Elway Lays Down The Law: ‘Kneel On My Field And You’re Fired On The Spot’

John Elway, former Super Bowl-winning quarterback and Head of Football Operations for the Denver Broncos, has laid down some ground rules for the upcoming season of the NFL.

According to our sources inside the locker room who may or may not have direct knowledge of what’s going on, Elway is already polishing up his index finger to point at the traitors he’ll fire.

Our sports correspondent in the field, James Osborne, says the players are taking the warnings very seriously:

“Elway has made it clear that he won’t stand for any disrespecting of our flag.

One of the assistants to an assistant coach said he heard Elway screaming in his office that ‘anyone kneeling on his field during the National Anthem will be fired.

If they’re from another team, they’ll be escorted out and not allowed to play.’ We’re not really sure how to enforce that one, but it looks like we’ll have to try or be fired ourselves by old pigeon feet.”

Elway isn’t messing around. Back in 2017, he fired three players on the spot for kneeling, setting off a chain reaction of fact-checking stories and attacks on satire by Snopes.

In the end, the players were reinstated because they weren’t real, and Elway was able to keep his public image of being an intolerant jackass completely intact.

God bless you, John Elway, and God Bless America

Related Posts

Alleged Gang Member Arrested After Stealing Rifle From FBI Vehicle

In the days after heightened federal activity in Minneapolis, including a widely reported shooting by a U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement officer that wounded a migrant and…

New video footage from different angle reveals more about latest ICE shooting in Minneapolis

What happened early Saturday in Minneapolis Federal immigration agents fatally shot 37-year-old Alex Jeffrey Pretti, a Minneapolis resident and ICU nurse, during a federal immigration enforcement operation…

Sources claim man killed in second ICE shooting in Minneapolis named has been identified

The man shot and killed by federal immigration agents in south Minneapolis on Saturday has been identified as Alex Jeffrey Pretti, a 37-year-old city resident, according to…

President Trump’s FBI Announces Major Arrest

President Donald J. Trump has made it clear to criminals who cause damage and devastation to our communities that they will be caught and prosecuted. Francisco Javier…

The woman in this photo grew up to become the richest actress in the world

The little girl in this photo grew up to become the richest actress in the world — can you guess who she is? If you asked most…

Man ‘brain dead for 90 minutes’ met Jesus and has his message

The biggest mystery on earth just might be what happens to someone once they die. The answer to this question can vary greatly depending on who you…