John Elway Lays Down The Law: ‘Kneel On My Field And You’re Fired On The Spot’

John Elway, former Super Bowl-winning quarterback and Head of Football Operations for the Denver Broncos, has laid down some ground rules for the upcoming season of the NFL.

According to our sources inside the locker room who may or may not have direct knowledge of what’s going on, Elway is already polishing up his index finger to point at the traitors he’ll fire.

Our sports correspondent in the field, James Osborne, says the players are taking the warnings very seriously:

“Elway has made it clear that he won’t stand for any disrespecting of our flag.

One of the assistants to an assistant coach said he heard Elway screaming in his office that ‘anyone kneeling on his field during the National Anthem will be fired.

If they’re from another team, they’ll be escorted out and not allowed to play.’ We’re not really sure how to enforce that one, but it looks like we’ll have to try or be fired ourselves by old pigeon feet.”

Elway isn’t messing around. Back in 2017, he fired three players on the spot for kneeling, setting off a chain reaction of fact-checking stories and attacks on satire by Snopes.

In the end, the players were reinstated because they weren’t real, and Elway was able to keep his public image of being an intolerant jackass completely intact.

God bless you, John Elway, and God Bless America

Related Posts

Mom spots ‘God’s hand’ cradling baby’s head in ultrasound

In what’s being called a modern-day miracle, a Kentucky mother says her unborn baby was touched by the “hand of God” – and she has the ultrasound…

Photo of passenger on flight goes viral, has everyone saying the same thing

A recent image of a plus-sized passenger attempting to fit into a cramped airline seat has sparked an explosive debate online, leaving many questioning whether the airline…

BBC news presenter refuses to speak word during broadcast

A BBC anchor was reading from the autocue while on air, and it seems like she did not want to read a particular word. Since then, people…

Horror as Texas school bus carrying 42 students rolls over in violent crash

A Texas school bus carrying more than 40 people rolled over on a rural road earlier this week, sending ten people, including nine students, to hospital. The…

Couple left to die in shark-infested waters – their diary entires are chilling

In 1998, Tom and Eileen Lonergan were accidentally left behind during a scuba diving trip in the shark-infested waters of Australia’s Great Barrier Reef – a real-life…

Bullfighter gored to death after taunting animal at controversial festival

A man died this past weekend after being gored during a controversial bullfighting festival known as ‘corraleja’ in the small town of Fundación, Magdalena, Colombia. As per…